relationships

Today I had a fascinating conversation with Dahlia about relationships. After many such discussions and observations about this topic, I am compelled to write and delve into this dark matter of human emotions. I said dark because nobody will ever understand its tapestry and unpredictability. Just like physicists who are currently hoping to unify everything in the universe by using string theory, the rest of us are trying to make sense of past , present and future relationships by super-imposing images and events that do not work anymore onto our minds. We fear new experiences.

I suppose it is just human nature to reminisce about the past, revel in the present and wonder about the future because we have a mind that is capable of thinking thoughts and so much more. We also have a heart that feels those same thoughts. But seldom the courage to act on them.

My question is why are people so set on being in a relationship that isn't working for them anymore? I was guilty of this :).... I know quite a few people who gave reasons like 'I don't want to hurt her/him', 'I am comfortable now and it is not easy to start again', 'i'll wait till the children are grown up', 'it doesn't look good socially', 'I have no choice, I'm stuck and there is no way out.' and the reasons go on... I might not be in the circumstances that led to the reasons above but we have choices and the way we choose continues to baffle me. I think the confusion comes when we use too much of the mind to focus on a decision that only the heart can make. The reasons we use to justify the decisions are just noise. In a simple society, the mind and the heart are pure without the noise that beckons confusion. But since this is no longer a simple society, is it selfish to abandon a love relationship that isn't working no matter what the reasons are? Of course in a marriage there are things to consider before giving up on it but isn't it better to feel pain in the present than to suffer in silence into the future? Sometimes we also suffer at work, suffer in friendships, suffer in love and before we know it, the heavy heart is ready to relinquish all to the controlling mind... complete shutdown.. the heart has left the body. What rhythm are we beating to now?

If we think about it, we create all kinds of amusement to alleviate our sufferings and not to bring happiness. Happiness is without conflict. It comes from the heart. And we still find it hard to make a decision that brings forth our own happiness without being responsible for someone else's.

It got me thinking about the universe we live in. It seems that we are like a micro manifestation of the way the universe works. I believe that the mind and the heart can only achieve an optimal balance with the inner workings of cells at the molecular level. Each has a separate role to play. The two can never meld into one. Just like the forces of the universe. They can exist side by side but cannot be explained within a single theory.

Bottom line is , people should use the heart to make emotional judgments and the mind to make logical ones. Not that easy huh? As we approach the fine line between an emotional and a logical call, the laws of biology seem to break down. And why should we open our hearts and be vulnerable? And I ask 'why not?' In the meantime, we can be happy about being in less than perfect relationships as long as they do not tug at the heart strings of those we care about.. Back to square one...

Here we go again

It's been a hectic 2 months and then some
More of that will continue to come
I'm sitting here typing furiously
My bedtime past, and getting sleepy

Days at work left my body weary
Nights at work rendered my mind mushy
Sometimes I wondered if all this is gonna end
Even though I already knew the answer at hand

Having said that, I don't want to stop working
Because the joys of life keep happening
And our work brings forth that life and its perks
When we work to live and not live to work

From Mondays to Saturdays
Sometimes all through Sundays
We eat, work, sleep, eat , work, sleep
To make money so we can save and keep

From Mondays to Saturdays
Sometimes all through Sundays
We eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep
Ay, here we go all over again.

Frisco slut

hey my friend from the north
what's up , what's hot, what's wild
the thought of you brought forth
these words from across the miles

I was glad you called that day
How can I miss the call when

I know you think of me in ways
No normal people can comprehend

We remembered the good ole times
When you and all the MDC pondans
Joined the only SBC Ms Fine ( that would be moi )
For hilarious episodes that would have been banned
from Mediacorp while putting them to shame

Then you had to leave us
For some far away shore
To study journalism just for lust
I think you mentioned before

Once a slut always a slut
Whether in Frisco or in Singapore
When you leave your mark
It'll be ingrained to the core

You think you very pretty?
You think you very gorgeous?
Mud thinks you pretty ugly
I think you are contagious

Other people reading this would rather
That I mind my own language
But this joke we know better
Than to keep it hush hush

Your picture very nice, your 'wife' you cut
You looked like you just got off
In the escort parlor next to cafe Mozart

Although you feeling feeling getting married
Ha you don't fool me, with laughter I almost cried
When I saw the platforms you had on, I queried
Were you the groom or the bride
Very minus ten thousand points

That's it Ah Kua
I'm having a brain drain
Now I wanna eat my bak kwa
Adios, till we meet again

Hasta luego mi amigo. Quizas podemos conversar mas largo la proxima vez. Tengo que ir para cenar en la casa de un amigo. El vive cerca de Spanish Village, Farrer road.

A Glimpse of Chennai

The 2nd part of our show with Jet airways brought us to Chennai ( Madras ). This time the flight was direct and took us three and a half hours. But alas, we only stayed there for a night. Jet airways were quite good actually. The flight attendants were pleasant and friendly. The hotel we stayed in was beautiful. Not quite completed but the rooms faced the Indian Ocean.

Our show was at the Taj's fisherman cove and the stage was facing the Indian Ocean as well. Although it was outdoors, the breeze from the ocean made the night cool and windy. The show was a success and the Indians were really enjoying themselves. The night sky over Chennai was clear and I was able to do a little star gazing.

After show, we drank, ate and danced with the guests till late. By the time we got back to the hotel it was past midnight. Slept for about 5 hours before I had to drag myself out of bed at 6am. The trip to the airport was about 90 minutes. It was one of the few overseas shows that I didn't have to spend much money. No time for sight seeing and shopping.. :)

I managed to take some shots of the city and I think Chennai, like Kolkata was underdeveloped. The streets were dusty and stone walls surrounding buildings were poorly taken care of. I noticed businesses were conducted alongside cows roaming free in the city. I also saw two men conducting a different kind of business. They were taking a leak by the roadside amidst the hustle and bustle of the smog filled city. Such bliss ... :) . Once the bus passed the city the roads were less dusty, noisy and polluted. And then I saw a pond filled with murky water and rotting leaves. Children were playing in the water and some women were washing their clothes there too. Holy...

The people in India were very nice and friendly. There was no rush to go anywhere fast and I got the feeling that they take each day as it comes without expecting too much in return.

On the way north to the airport as we were leaving Chennai, around 7am I saw a spectacular sight- the moon on my left about to dip behind the land and the rising sun on my right above the horizon. ( I haven't been up so early in a long while .. hahahah ) If only I had a camera equipped to take such a panoramic view !

100 rupees was about SGD$3.80

kolkata in 24 hours

I was in Kolkata to launch Jet Airways' new flight from Bangkok to Kolkata. It was quite a journey. We left Singapore on the 18th January 2007, flew to Kolkata via Delhi. Arrived in the morning of the 19th, checked in, had lunch and went to the Hyatt Hotel for a stage run. That same evening we had a good show, had dinner after about 11pm, went back to our hotel to sleep. The next day, we checked out after lunch , went to the airport, boarded the flight to Mumbai, waited for 4 hours in the airport before taking another flight back to Singapore. Wow, we had a four day trip but only spent one night in a hotel. Talk about a jet setting lifestyle !

Kolkata is a honking city. It is just what the locals do. They drive like mad, swerving in and out on roads without lane markings. One hand on the steering wheel and another on the honk. Every 10 seconds or so, we could hear the drivers trying to out-honk each other. It was extremely noisy, deafening. After about 10 hours or so , I was beginning to get used to the incessant din when I realized something was wrong. There was silence in my head, peace at last and then it hit me. Kolkata had gone to sleep!

The Indians didn't consider that rude but just a way of life for them. Each honk seemed to send out a message like 'watch out here I come, I won't hit you cos I am a good driver but let us not tempt fate.' And they all seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere. Even with that in mind, the driver still managed to arrive 2 hours late in picking us up. When we enquired about the transport, the hotel concierge just said "let it come" with the famous Indian nod. hahahha that was so funny.

Nice, friendly people, the Indians. But most of them just like to look and stare- at foreign girls especially. We were in the same hotel as some cricket players. We chatted with some and found out that they were in the city and just finished a cricket game. They invited us to watch the next day but we had to fly back. That was too bad. They were cute too...

2007

Year end came and went. The new year 2007 started for me at St.James powerstation in the Boiler room. It didn't feel very much different from any other countdown venues. Whether in singapore or overseas, people took time out to herald in the new year with much gusto. Every Dec since 2002 I have been away and now I finally had the chance to celebrate the beginning of the year in Singapore. Everytime the first thing that came to mind was how wonderful it was to be alive and well.

I am not in a habit of making new year's resolutions so this year wouldn't be any different. What I do wish for is many happy returns of good health, good memories, good times and good wealth ! :)

Christmas

It's Christmas today and another year coming to an end. Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. However, these days I noticed that the season has become secular. While I am sure that there are still people that stick to the traditional way of how Christmas should be celebrated, the festivities and merry making have meandered into different societies.

In a multi racial country like Singapore, eating places operated by the Chinese, Muslims or Indians have joined in the spirit of the times and decorated their shops with Christmas trees and ornaments. This leads to a racially integrated society in Singapore. Surely that is a good thing, no?

On the other hand, this could also be a cause for waning traditions. As we become more progressive, it is difficult to honor religious rules without putting others in an uncomfortable dilemma. So, the joys of Christmas mean we exchange presents with friends from different races while our parents go to church.

At the rate things are unfolding, I am not sure how important religion will be in years to come; at least in this part of the world. Other countries elsewhere are fighting like mad because of religious disharmony, holding on tightly to perceived and unyielding laws. I digress... back to Christmas...
I love Christmas because somehow it brings out the mood, colors, spirit and nostalgia of how it all started.

nothing

wow it's been a while since I wrote anything. I can always use the good old acceptable excuse of being too busy to write. Well, I am here now and I have nothing to write about. hmmmm...... a ver....

I can hear the grey matter in my mind churning
Preparing the synapses for the neurons they are firing
I can feel the thoughts I am thinking
Slowly emerging, emerging, emerging, then , nothing

Nothing.... can it be an adjective?
Is it a word that means something ?
How to describe it if it isn't there for seeing?
Has anyone experienced its being ?

Nothing.... can it be a verb?
Is it a thought that could not be visualized?
The result of which no words could materialize
Or actions that could not be dramatized

Nothingness as a noun has a meaning;
the complete absence of everything
I believe it has neither a beginning
Nor an ending

When we sit around doing nothing
Are we really undoing something?
How about unhearing or
unthinking anything?

Whatever part of speech it is located
Its usage is rather convoluted
Women use it when a disagreement has started
Men use it to claim the same has ended

We shouldn't deploy all our five or six senses
To the understanding of absolute nothingness
Just embrace the word as its meaning dictates
Before this becomes a point for debates

I am not an English guru but there, I have filled this previously empty space with nothing.. What color is nothing? I guess it's purple.. hee hee hee

Ode to W

When we first met online I wasn’t sure you were my kind You looked kinda cute in cyberspace Those eyes looking straight at my face You came to visit me two months later We hit it off instantly through conversation and laughter Online, there was so much to talk about In the flesh, it felt better, no doubt Soon you wanted to make me your girl Before you left for the far side of our world You begged me to follow you home To get a glimpse of your personal dome The days went by ever more slowly Without you by my side daily Mails from you, I awaited eagerly On New Year’s eve, we’ll meet readily Then the expected happened unexpectedly After a few visits to your world, you said quietly “I couldn’t handle the distance Whenever I needed you in an instance” The relationship we had across the miles Was made more difficult because we’re so far apart But I know this will all be worthwhile If only you would take away the impossible part I know you feel for me in your own way While you strive to make sense of your own life It’s easier for you to keep feelings at bay Cos your heart and mind have different things to say You wanted to filter feelings through your head And leave emotions behind instead How can I do that when I perceived love through the heart It shattered the moment I felt that dart Loving you took all I had I hope you’d remember everything we’ve shared I looked forward to the day I hope, I pray, one day together we’ll stay This New Year would be the third year And still you’re not here But you know what I’m grateful for? The chance to give and receive love and more Now I am over you and all the fun Regrets I have none There’s a rainbow in my heart Of which I am certain a future love will be a part

Asean Tourism Fair

It was my 5th time to Japan as an ambassador
The Asean Tourism Fair in Sapporo, Hokkaido
This event was as good as the rest, if not the best
Both in body and mind it was truly a cultural fest

Asean admitted a new member this year
Now Myanmar celebrates the friendship far and near
In the cultural bridge that has many detours
Starting from Brunei, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia.
The Philippines, Singapore, Thailand to Vietnam.

At the fair, every country showcased their specialty
Arts and crafts that were founded on anonymity
Preserved through and for generations to come
So that today, we too, can appreciate their beauty and charm

Japan was most gracious to host the affair
The people's commitment to attention and care
Was exemplary right to the very end
All of two weeks we had fun working, playing hand in hand.


The picture above was taken on the streets of Sapporo in costume. We were performing in a local shopping centre nearby.
Sapporo looked very similar to Tokyo . The japanese are such civic minded people. The streets were clean and almost all sidewalks had special walkways built for the handicapped. The public toilets were also clean- sign of a gracious society in my opinion. Hotel toilets even have heated seats in the winter. Hmmmmm... great for my butt .. hahaha. But I hope they would do something about the toilet paper though. hee hee. they are thin and rough. Not quite kleenex material... :)



Once I was in a cafe and the girl sitting a few tables away left her cell phone and shopping bags behind. While she was gone many people walked in and out of the cafe and never minded the phone at all. Fifteen minutes later the girl came back and quietly took her belongings. If it had been anywhere else, the phone would be gone quite quickly.
I can hardly find trash receptacles anywhere . That's because hardly anyone ever ate on the streets. I noticed they have meals at restaurants and eateries. Japan is very conscious about recycling. If there is a dustbin somewhere it will be side by side with 2 others. One for paper, another for plastic and so on.

I find it very peculiar that the japanese are quite influenced by western culture and yet retained their values and able to integrate them effortlessly. In the fortnight I was there, I only had time to visit the Hokkaido Museum of Modern Art. Shopping was expensive but digital cameras were cheaper than Singapore.
The flag down rate for taxis was 600 yen. 1000 yen was equivalent to S$14. Muy caro. . Cheap food starting from 500 yen can be had if one knew where to go.
Hokkaido crabs were huge. The spiny body itself was bigger than a man's face and the claws were at least 16 inches long. The famous local rock melons cost anywhere from $27 to $150 each !! Unbelievable!!!
Now I miss the weather. It was about 18 degrees... I had a great time.

yellow ribbon musical

The Yellow Ribbon Project together with CARE is dedicated to helping and the organizing of activities for ex offenders and their families.
When asked to choreograph for the musical, I was apprehensive at first but accepted the job for the anticipation of a new kind of challenge. This year the musical was performed by the inmates who wrote their own songs and directed by a dear friend, Peggy.

The rehearsals were conducted inside the huge, big and grey building. The girls were all a little shy at first and kept looking at the floor but slowly their enthusiasm and a chance to perform for their loved ones and friends motivated them to be brave and just go for it.. The men were also very talented. They sang so much better than the Singapore Idols ( oops am I allowed to say that?)

Prior to the commencement of rehearsals, there was a song writing competition and the winning songs were chosen to tie in with the theme of the musical which was "angel from within."

In the few months leading to performance day which was yesterday, I was made more aware of the power of forgiveness. The life stories we heard while talking to the inmates were mostly reflected in their songs. But keeping their spirits high whenever we saw them for rehearsals made our jobs so much easier. They were so willing to learn, so willing to laugh and cry. I was able to see, hear and feel forgiveness and that word truly lifts the spirit and helps someone to move on and brings hope to live another day.

One thing I was glad of - this musical brought together inmates who didn't know each other and now have become friends inside.

The earnest desire to change was projected on stage and moved the audience to tears. They sang and danced with so much gusto that it was so heart- rending. After show I went back to the holding area to offer my heartiest congratulations.
Needless to say, security was very tight but I couldn't respect the protocol anymore at that point and went straight to hug all of them. There were so many words just waiting to roll off my tongue but had to keep my mouth shut from literally crying out loud.

All those weeks of training had paid off and I am glad to be part of the Yellow Ribbon Musical 2006... and I can't post pictures for obvious reasons...

It's about time I went for a deep tissue massage..

My leg still hurts today
It has been like that everyday
the pain shoots here and there
when night approaches, i swear

I suppose it's a work hazard
When over used muscles are needed
to hold up the weary body
and they break down suddenly

but the body is amazingly resilient
design from the great Divine, it's brilliant
It's the greatest instrument ever created
It's use should not be taken for granted

I'll take care, I'll take care, take care, care...
wear and tear, wear and tear, wear, tear
hmmm.... too tired , too tired, too tired now
I should go for another massage.. so how brown cow
zzzzzzzz.................. buenas noches.. :)

P.S. I've discovered that it hurt like hell to have a sports massage but the release of tension when pressure was applied to the muscles on the body was a great relief. I think anyone involved in vigorous training and those sitting on their butts in an office should try it. .
I should have done this eons ago, holy caramba..

Chengdu at a glance

Yesterday I just got back from Chengdu, China, for a show with the Singapore Tourism Board. The event was for a Life Insurance Congress and there were thousands of people attending it. The show was a success and all went well despite 4 hours of sleep the night before. We had a 7am call for stage rehearsal and another one at noon before the show at 3.30pm. That's how it was for most shows and it was great fun.

When in China one should speak a little Mandarin
For the people hardly spoke anything else
Some were helpful some ignored us with a grin
When we tried to communicate and asked for directions
Even the most prolific one of us was wonderin'
How on earth can we understand the different intonations
In such a widely used language..

We stayed at the Century City Holiday Inn
Located next to our performance venue, wow, best
The hotel opened its doors just a week before we flew in
Just so thousands attending the congress can rest

I think the hotel wasn't ready to operate
Although the staff tried to cope and were friendly
The service was slow and deliberate
Not quite up to standard for this four star hotel, surely

The rooms were furnished quite nicely
The problem started when we took a shower
The water seeped out onto the floor surreptitiously
Wetting the carpet near the entrance and into the corridor

We went shopping after work
Taxi fare was cheap but communication was weak
But there we were, twenty minutes later
At the best area where they sell everything we seek

The food didn't taste so good on the palate
Found ourselves eating fast food most of the time
But we bought el cheapo clothes, shoes and one pomegranate :)
And the world famous peaches, the best kind

That night we went to the Babi Club though not my cup of tea
It was a disco so crowded with the locals, it wasn't funny
I decided to head back to the hotel without a glee
To brave the flooded toilet and get some sleep, maybe...

But to hear the DJs speak Mandarin was a strange feeling
To a sea of Asian faces, to western music they were bopping...

The next day with six hours before we headed for home
Upon my recommendation, we went to see the giant pandas
Situated in the world's only research base where they freely roam
Since it was hot, they remained in their air conditioned haciendas

Then we rushed to Wenshu temple
To get a glimpse of the famous teahouses contained
In a four thousand year history said the people
A tradition they are proud to retain.

The sky above Chengdu was hazy with pollution and dust from the ever present construction everywhere. Some of my friends had rashes after several hours in town. Hailing a taxi was one culturally shocking experience. The people in China do not queue. When a taxi stopped everyone rushed towards it and whoever had their hands on the door got in before the previous passenger had a chance to pay. So we did what the locals do, reluctantly. With shopping bags in both hands, one of us rushed to a taxi and stood with the body flushed to the back door. While other people piled up behind him someone opened the front door and stepped in!! Hahahahahaahha we couldn't stop laughing . It was hilarious to the max while we watched our hard won taxi leaving with another passenger.

In Singapore this would be unacceptable. No wonder the Chinese tourists here behave so rudely-talking at the top of their voices and not queueing. They are just being themselves... hahahahaha.

I found myself in possession of a fake 50 yuan note - about SGD$10. I had no idea when that happened. Must have been the change I got while shopping. It looked exactly like the real thing. At the airport on the way home I decided to use up all the yuan I had on me which was that 50 yuan and that was then they said it was a fake. Holy caramba...

I am certain that China has many more beautiful places to explore and I look forward to my next trip for more culturally shocking experiences.. :)

Football a way of life..

The World Cup came and went
Oh, how many hours we spent
Watching , feeling and sharing the euphoria
That every goal had brought together
A nation.. be it rich or poor

I have been a football fan ( of the World Cup ) for quite some time now. It never ceases to amaze me how many people around the world enjoy this game. The usual comment from those not interested was always the same "what do you see in a group of people running after a ball?"

Here's what it is all about ...
For me, football is akin to life...

Firstly, the game has a little entropy so it is unpredictable more often than not. One of the two countries playing might be slated to win but as long as the game is still in play, it has a 50-50 chance of winning. But then, this also applies to other sports but football has the element of chaos that increases with time because of the large number of variations presented by the players from the different countries.
Life's like that too - the choices people make have a 50-50 chance of being a good one.

Secondly, football brings the world together. Whether a country is rich or poor, the game transcends race, religion or language differences. It embraces cultures, accepts diversity. The numerous disagreements and emotional outbursts to the referees' decisions were always short lived as the game must go on. Without countries' participation, there would be no game. This year, the tag line is 'my game is fair play, say no to racism'. It is good enough for me that FIFA is trying to eradicate certain issues.....
Having said that, I suspect, as with life, the game would not be able to escape political influences and I would not delve further into this ................. :)
Life's like that too - without friends to have fun with, to disagree with and to share common interests with, there would be nada.

The game starts and stops every now and then and when a goal is scored, it would start again. Both teams attack and defend again and again just to get the ball into the goal. They formulate strategies, take advantage of opportunities to score, getting themselves hurt in the process and then, when the ball makes it past the two poles, every drop of sweat and every bit of hard work transform into ecstasy.
Life's like that too - we plan projects, we fall, get up and try again. With proper guidance, experience and timely opportunities, we survive. Ecstasy and despair must occur side by side.

The rules and regulations in the game ensure that there is order in the system. Any player caught flouting the rules are rightly punished.
Life's like that too - laws keep us away from wrongdoing.

Football must have team spirit yet individual effort, strategically located players and of course, lady luck.
Life's like that too ....

Last but not least, football is a passion for many people around the world. Some players become role models ( some not ), mentors and coaches after they can play no more. And the game continues...
Life's like that too - no matter what we do, where we are, life should be a passion and continues.....

Football is ...... a beautiful game.....
Life is........ a beautiful game.....

I love football so much for all the reasons above :) :)

best job in the world

I'm in the arts for the longest time
I'm still loving it, I'm still feeling fine
Formal training I had in classical ballet
From 8 till 20 years of age
The move to go commercial for sure
Sealed my decision to be a performer

Memorable events like meeting dignitaries globally, are
The best highlights of my career, by far
My travels are nothing short of spectacular
Shows were tiring, moving, funny and clever

An artiste's journey is a game
I'm in this not for money not for fame
But for rewards that are most clearly
Continued growth culturally and professionally.

thoughts...

Today, as I sat in a cafe watching people
Talking, eating, laughing and doing their thing
I suddenly felt alone when a couple
Walked by lovingly,.... oblivious that the world is still revolving

So many kinds of species make up this great kingdom
As I sat still I noticed the beauty
Of trees swaying, birds flying and the freedom
Of discovering and telling our own story

I realized that being alone can be frustrating
A pain in the ass if we begin to accept
That life's puzzle shouldn't be missing
The pieces that make us whole and perfect

After some thought I have learned to discern that
Being alone is the presence of oneself while
Being lonely is the absence of the other
Now, with my sanity intact, I smile

So, being alone is not bad at all
Especially when friends pick up my tab at the cafe (hee hee)
Thank God for family , should we fall
Blessed with their strength we fly free

The cycle of life continues to play
If it gets too hectic, just chill and be still
For sure the sun will chase the moon away
A brand new day emerges, memory filled

As for they who spawned this poem, the loving couple
I wish them joy, happiness and cheer
We are all here to find love one way or the other
Kudos to all those whose love can inspire

Peranakan culture

For two days at the Arts House, I did an event featuring a peranakan wedding. Theirs is a colorful culture that dates back two to three hundred years ago. It started when Chinese traders came to the Malay Peninsula. Many of them met and married the local Malays. The original Peranakans came from Malacca and in later years moved to Penang and Singapore. Throughout history the culture developed a language that was a mixture of Chinese and Malay. The women were matriachs and were strong and powerful.

When the British colonized both Singapore and Malaysia, the western influence started making its mark and the Peranakans' heritage was further diluted. The term ' Straits-born Chinese" was more familiar to the westerners than the word "Peranakan."

Assimilation eroded many beliefs and way of life of the Peranakans. The old world Peranakans were mainly Buddhists and Taoists but now many of them have become Christians and the belief of bygone days didn't much agree with their current faith . Moreover, modern trappings of society created a huge gap between the old and the young.

Efforts have been made to bring back as much of the culture as possible .

The instrument I was holding in the picture below is called a 'suona'. It is rather peculiar. A cross between a recorder and a trumpet. But don't be fooled by its small size. It is really loud and used to give musical renditions to traditional Peranakan weddings although it is a choice more than a must.

The Peranakans are considered a minority
In this sunny little island known as Singapore
My friends are reviving its HERitage and HIStory
Featuring dancing, singing and merry making

The Babas are the males, the Nyonyas, females
The culture is rich and colorful , evidently
The cuisine very sedap and recipes are for sale
Beautiful beaded shoes are a must if you're a wannabe

Porcelain wares are an important part of households
The designs are a little different from the Chinese
With butterflies and phoenixes as the main symbols
Bright yellow and pink, they are very pricey

The Peranakan wedding used to be a 12 days affair
Now with modernization and inter marriages
The sacred union is kept simple for the pair
And elaborate customs have undergone some great changes

In the old days the bride and groom cannot smile
Since it brought bad luck to their lives it was not an option
I suspect this hasn't been practiced for a while
Because a celebration is a celebration is a celebration!

For most clans, the Sarong Kebaya is preferred
Although it was traditionally of Malay origin
Hand sewn Chinese motifs that have been incorporated
Made this elegant outfit better than you can imagine

As with most lesser known cultures around the planet
The Peranakans are losing their foothold in the present society
While we cannot stop progress from diluting its numerous facets
We can certainly do our best to preserve its legacy.



















13th June 2006

psychoanalysis

The other day I had a mail from a friend, Alan, who has an interest in psychoanalysis. While I am not an expert in this subject, I can think of another friend who uses psychobabble to talk about herself most of the time.

It seemed incredulous at the time when she told me about how she often had migraine attacks if she sat on the floor or how a diet without carbohydates but butter eaten at various times of the day would help her lose weight. And she wasn't even fat to start with.

Could it be people like her somehow concocted these stories to draw attention to their own problems because there is nothing else they like to talk about? Sounds twisted but I suspect that's it because friends have often asked her to eat more, relax, be less paranoid and her usual retort would be that no one understood her condition. Perhaps she would be a good subject for a psychoanalyst, a psychologist or maybe both.

I wonder, after listening to all the problems and giving advice to the patients, how would the 'psycho-doctors' clear their own minds of all the negative emotions that piled up day after day?

I liked the way Alan so eloquently put it - 'so much discussion about behavioral patterns takes place as if the psyche didn't exist, like there are just social forces acting on a blank slate, and not only does the activity of consciousness have little effect but the unconscious and the entire world of desire and fantasy are simply ignored.'
By this I am working on the assumption that most people think that the behavior of a person is formed by the movement of society without taking into account the inherent psychological factors that are present in the individual or could be they are just relegated to the deep abyss of the mind.

If that blank slate is so often bombarded with all those emotions, would the positive cancel out the negative? Or would the slates be erased before each session can continue for the doctors? Even if they were, surely 'imprint stains' would be left behind?

What happened to the individual personality? Would it still be lurking under the slate?
Where do all these mind doctors go to take a break? I heard that psychologists often have their own doctors.

I don't know any psychoanalysts but I did know 2 psychologists who committed suicide and one other tried that in vain and currently pursuing a degree in psychology.

Well, I suppose every profession has its advantages and drawbacks. One thing is for sure ; discussions and discourse would certainly be an ongoing process because we have been trying to understand ourselves and our actions for the longest time. In fact I think sometimes people tried too hard to understand others when they should be spending time trying to comprehend themselves.

Studies have begun on the behavioral patterns of unborn children to those a few years old to see how they are being affected by exposure to different stimuli. Mayhaps we can help ourselves by making sure that the synapses in our brains are firing correctly which I believe, could ultimately create synergy among us.

This subject has such a broad range of starting points that... caramba, I think I am having a headache... think it's best left to the experts.


20th May 2006

tax free dubai

When asked if I wanted to go to Dubai for a show, gladly I said yes! The show was for the Singapore Tourism Board and as usual, it was a show selling Singapore to the world - Dubai. We had a Gala night at Shangri la Dubai . The show went well and I can't help noticing two Arab men looking at me all the time. Hmmmm..... Even Tyra noticed that and told me after the show. Too bad I never had the chance to find out their intention.. ! :)
We didn't stay at the Shangri la but at the Savoy apartment hotel. It was beautiful, just about the size of a 4 room apartment in Singapore. Each cost about S$800. Two to an apartment.


Anyway we were free the next day and took an opened top bus tour around the city. They stopped us at the museum, the old souq ( market ) and other places of interest. The heat was unbearable and we took respite in a shopping centre. It was quite expensive, shopping in Dubai. then the second half of the day, we took another tour to the sand dunes in a 4 WD. It was an experience navigating through the sand dunes and later we were treated to an arabian bbq dinner complete with shisha and belly dancing. Wow. what a day.


The next day we had show at the Arabian Trade Fair . There were not as many people as the one I did in London 3 years ago only because the UK trade fair in London covered more countries. But people stopped at the singapore booth to enquire about our little island just north of the equator. Twice a day we had a show to bring in the crowds - 4pm and 7 pm.
Then it's back to the souqs for more shopping. I went into a shop that sold shisha among other things and bought one. The others ended up buying a shisha each .

Dubai has many beautiful buildings with interesting architectural designs. Below are more facts about one of the 7 states of the United Arab Emirates.
One peculiar thing about this place is the men cannot enter into a disco without a woman by his side. If there are 4 men, there must be 4 women. And the disco we went to called Trilogy near the famous Burj Al Arab hotel had a cover charge of about SGD$40 without drinks. Holy caramba.... nothing further to add here..






Dubai is really tax free in many ways A place where palm trees sway
Personal income is tax exempted
Ditto property, which can never be depleted





Crime rate is extremely low
If one is caught, severe punishment follows
About 80% of the population are expats
Now that's an interesting fact






Most buildings are centered around the Dubai Creek
Yet other interesting ones spring up to keep
the nation ahead of others in a bid to be
The technologically advanced city for all to see






True to the Islamic culture
There is no one who can buy liquor
Anywhere in Dubai without a licence
Unless in a pub or bar where one frequents






But I must say the buildings are beautiful
A tribute to talented architects with their hands full
Even as I write, construction has started
On the world famous palm islands

As if that isn't enough, there's the world island
In which every country on earth
Is constructed like the map of the world
He bought the island of UK, Rod Stewart
One other has Argentina under his belt




Dubai is open but not too liberal
Fashion is not even ephemeral
In fact there is evidently a lack of it
I saw most men in their traditional outfit
And women, hmmm where were they?



Ha ha just kidding, I was exaggerating
They were somewhere around, walking
Shopping or working but honestly
Men outnumbered women most definitely.



Generally Dubai has a lot to offer to first timers. The Gold souq ( market ) sells nothing but gold, the Spice souq has all kinds of spices and incense from all corners of the world and the Old souq houses the local arts and craft but one must bargain . In the next few years Dubai is planning to build the world's highest building with the biggest shopping centre that would take a few days to cover.
English is the main language of instruction and there were many foreign language schools scattered all over .
The exchange rate was SGD$1.00 = DHS2.26.
I would like to end by saying that Dubai takes the word 'building' literally and makes use of it simultaneously as a verb and noun. Everywhere I turned there were constructions .. building... building... buildings..












15th May 2006

return trip to Kuala Lumpur

Yesterday I went back to Kuala Lumpur to spend Mother's Day with my mom and brother. I must say KL is changing and opening its doors. But the question that has always been looming in my head was to what extent the people want to embrace the changes. The LRT is a timely extension to the transport system and a convenient way for Malaysians to commute. Nice shopping centres have sprung in many areas and this should make shopping a pleasant experience. Beautiful and cozy cafes are aplenty there. KL has become a lively city, yes, more so than before.

My contention is that people there should be more civic conscious. Crime rate is still a statistic. True, crime is prevalent everywhere but it seems to me that the crime rate is not going down while KL strives to be a better place . Some crime, especially has gotten creative and the thieves, more daring.

For example, in order to up their business, a tow truck company would go to great lengths to pour oil/grease on a particular point on a road so when cars crashed, they would be the first one there. How underhanded..

And till today, I have not known of anyone in KL who has not been robbed including myself. Recently, the thief was so daring that he followed someone into their house in broad daylight, kicked her in the back and caused her to fall, hit her face on a wall . Then the thief took off with her purse.
KL really needs to clean up the city of corruption and crime right from the top. Small things like handphones left next to a person on the table would be a chance for temptation to rear its ugly head. People can't walk around freely without having to consciously think about holding their bags away from motorcyclists who might snatch them from behind.
My own run-in with theft years ago led to my being confined to Singapore for 3 years because the Malaysian authorities wanted to punish me for having my passport stolen! They had suspected that I staged the whole thing. Such paranoia! This is another story for another time.

My mom's potted plants which she cultivated herself were stolen from the common corridor where she lives. Surely people can afford a potted plant? Why steal it ? How low can one stoop ?

My point is Malaysia has so many resources, enjoys a good standard of living and yet she lacks the necessary social etiquette that the people can adopt to make for a more cohesive society.

On my way back to Singapore, I thought that I should try another bus company other than the one I always went with. I really didn't like the idea but I had no choice since the bus company I used didn't have any seats left. So I bought ticket from some bus company at Pudu Raya just for the heck of it. First I had to wait in a platform at the bus depot full of exhaust fumes. I didn't dare venture to a safer place in case the bus went off without me. Finally I got onto the bus and then there was confusion about whose ticket was valid and whose wasn't. I bought mine at the office for RM$38 and discovered that it actually cost RM$30. Darn... The bus took the causeway route and there were so many people and so many buses that the whole place was just a mess. At one point I almost took a flight.

So take it from me, if anyone wants a hassle free trip to KL, take the bus from reputable companies. They take the second link which is so so so much better ...
The best way to KL is really by bus - economical and convenient.

I shall stop griping about KL...



May 2006