I'm back... at last

Finally I am back in cyberspace
oh, the deluge of mails staring at my face
for 4 months I hibernated
my heartbeats accelerated

A bear I wasn't, here and there I ran
neither was I in slumberland
I was mega busy
and felt I was in an alternate reality

Now I'm glad for those months
I had a lot of fun
only wished they didn't zoom by so fast
but, hey, that's why memories are in the past

boring beijing

I went to Beijing for a show last week
For the Singapore Seasons extravaganza
An event showcasing the Lion city's need
For more foreign talent and investors

We checked into the Somerset ZhongGuan Cun hotel
Beautiful apartment hotel in a boring part of Beijing
We only had time for dinner before we got comfortable
in anticipation that the next day will be tiring





As expected, day 2 was indeed a long day
When we arrived, it was not ready, the stage
We hung around waiting while finding the time to play
And before long it was time for lunch

After that we took to the stage
Which was covered with a layer of plastic
The amount of dust on it was unbelievably large
it rose up to the knee whenever we started to kick

By the time we were done, it was almost dark
A few of us took the train to Tiananmen Square
The brightly lit area was like a big park
And provided a humongous picturesque fare

The next morning before we were rehearsal bound
I managed to pay a visit to the Forbidden City
Still hungover from the night before
We took in the fortress which was largely empty
Touched the cold stones everywhere and on the ground
Hugged a few hundred year old cypress tree
Happy that Forbidden City is no longer found
to be forbidden, cos I was there, heehee

That night our show was a great success, as usual :)
Men in suits and pretty women were plentiful
With sumptuous food and everything else so visual
The extravaganza was entirely delightful

With only a night to go we booked a massage in our rooms
The Chinese girl was really pretty
The massage wasn't fantastic but cheaper than home
At least my muscles were no longer weary




That's it for Beijing. The Chinese people we encountered were surprisingly polite, a far cry from the ones I met in other Chinese cities. Perhaps they were trying to improve the social etiquette before the imminent Olympics in 2008.

S$1 = 4.99 yuans

back on TV

I have not done anything on channel 5 for a while now.
Last week I accepted another acting role on season 2 of Life Story. I had forgotten how fun it could be and after a few minutes I was back in the swing of things.

I played a mother.. again..ay caramba... I am stereotyped..

Walking along the corridors of the TV and radio building brought back fond memories of Mediacorp Studios. And the canteen.... aaahhhh the canteen... I spent many hours with the other dancers there while waiting for programs to start. Some of the canteen operators had been there for eons.

Somehow the whole place looked a bit deserted compared to the time when we, the dancers were all making noise and playing games there.

I doubt Mediacorp Studios will ever support a group of full time dancers again. well, that's too bad...
:(.

the motorbike ride

In between the mountain and the cloudless dark sky
The long and beautiful night crept silently by
Amidst the clatter and meaningful chatter
The hilltop restaurant had a clueless waiter

The motorbike was a sight to behold
The ride up the not-so-winding road was controlled
Slowly it got hot under the skin
For both the riders and the machine

It has a pleasing shape and some fluid lines
Combined with a fuel tank that shines
I'd like to run my fingers along its chest
And feel it all the way if I had a second chance

Oh how you cut through the wind
Take me where I've never been
Where the sun makes love to the sea
Beyond the horizon just you and me

It's sleek, not meek, detailed in every part
It's cold exterior belied a burning heart
It stole longing glances from people, by the way
It's a transformer in the making, I must say
heeheehee

By chance does this machine have a name?
It didn't budge when I tried pushing it in vain
Maybe I should get one of my own
Another that wouldn't crush my bone

While we were riding against the wind
He accelerated in short bursts, I threw back my chin
Behind him I felt protected yet liberated
The same time I was tugging at his shirt

Destiny and destination became one
Whatever that means, I had much fun
Even though my ears flipped a little inside the snug helmet
It didn't matter, the cool night outweighed the discomfort

ponderance

i saw ducks swimming

on a pond they were floating

how carefree and serene

on a lovely day they carefully careen

I wonder if we, with intelligence and they, with instincts

will ever see nature in the same way

The right to live

the right to life

it's wonderful to just be...

but nature never intended

for different species to communicate

her way is a balance in harmony

just to put it simply

so we go our merry way

leave the ducks to pass the day

to create our complicated journeys

while they paddle away with no hurry

with intelligence we progress

we conquered ourselves

then the oceans too

it's good we know a lot

about the skies and beyond

we keep advancing..

and realized that we are destroying

the ground on which we walk

the land that we share with other sentient beings

have we interfered too much?

or not enough?

can we swim away merrily?

the ducks did... inadvertently

07.07.07

I was very happy to share my birthday
with worthwhile campaigns around the world today
For me, seven is the perfect number
Also easy to remember


there are 7 days in a week
no more we need to seek
from the 7 dwarfs to the 7 deadly sins
all we are, we can accomplish within

First there was the 'Live Earth' concert
where some countries combined their effort
to foster awareness of our planet's needs
her wonders, her beauty we must strive to keep

So many people were outdoor
had fun, enjoyed themselves and more
watching, singing , laughing and sending
positive energy that kept on rising
(http://liveearth.msn.com)

The other event was also global
held in Lisbon, Portugal
the official declaration of the new 7 wonders
Our world's heritage shouldn't be torn asunder
(http://www.new7wonders.com/)


I had a great day.... :) and would like to thank mom and Mike and all my friends who sent me wishes - some of you from overseas.

meeting you..

..has to be a real pleasure for me
..should make me feel at ease already
..my mind must go a little mushy
without bordering on lunacy

whenever I look in the mirror
you should smile back, we are so similar
reflecting my deeper self, there you are
it's possible you'll know my joys and fears

we can exchange interpersonal expression
anywhere and in any kind of environment
enjoy each other's company in oblivion
aahh, such bliss this kind of commitment

is it possible you exist in reality
reality permits me to find you personally
personally that encounter brings forth my fantasy
fantasy of forever after, happily

At the moment some of us are a mess
always settling for second best
Either that or we are taking a rest
From meeting yet another pest

I am quite convinced you are found
Over yonder galaxy and bound
By unperceived dimensions all around
Inside string theory, you are tightly wound

itchy feet

After the travelling I've been doing the past few years, now I am thinking of taking a holiday, again. hee hee.. Not sure where to go though. Spain, the US, Canada.. hmmm....

I just finished a 2 week mascot show where I was the monkey hahahaha. the character's name is Boots and he is Dora's best friend. Dora is a little spanish girl who travels everywhere around the world to explore the places . Her adventures are educational stories for kids and the cartoon is shown on TV.

The show got me thinking about taking a holiday.



The show was very well received . The kids were so responsive and wild when we came out. But sooo tiring. Holy caramba....

launch of moving rubber

I performed in a show on Friday last

Together with 20 hot and handsome men

With hairstyles that were created fast

Using the new product for ladies and gents

We launched the new wax range from Gatsby

That has different smell for different moods

My hair was styled very differently

I must say I looked quite good :)

The show went on smoothly

It was hairstyles and men on the dance floor

I enjoyed it totally

Since I was the only girl among them all

relationships

Today I had a fascinating conversation with Dahlia about relationships. After many such discussions and observations about this topic, I am compelled to write and delve into this dark matter of human emotions. I said dark because nobody will ever understand its tapestry and unpredictability. Just like physicists who are currently hoping to unify everything in the universe by using string theory, the rest of us are trying to make sense of past , present and future relationships by super-imposing images and events that do not work anymore onto our minds. We fear new experiences.

I suppose it is just human nature to reminisce about the past, revel in the present and wonder about the future because we have a mind that is capable of thinking thoughts and so much more. We also have a heart that feels those same thoughts. But seldom the courage to act on them.

My question is why are people so set on being in a relationship that isn't working for them anymore? I was guilty of this :).... I know quite a few people who gave reasons like 'I don't want to hurt her/him', 'I am comfortable now and it is not easy to start again', 'i'll wait till the children are grown up', 'it doesn't look good socially', 'I have no choice, I'm stuck and there is no way out.' and the reasons go on... I might not be in the circumstances that led to the reasons above but we have choices and the way we choose continues to baffle me. I think the confusion comes when we use too much of the mind to focus on a decision that only the heart can make. The reasons we use to justify the decisions are just noise. In a simple society, the mind and the heart are pure without the noise that beckons confusion. But since this is no longer a simple society, is it selfish to abandon a love relationship that isn't working no matter what the reasons are? Of course in a marriage there are things to consider before giving up on it but isn't it better to feel pain in the present than to suffer in silence into the future? Sometimes we also suffer at work, suffer in friendships, suffer in love and before we know it, the heavy heart is ready to relinquish all to the controlling mind... complete shutdown.. the heart has left the body. What rhythm are we beating to now?

If we think about it, we create all kinds of amusement to alleviate our sufferings and not to bring happiness. Happiness is without conflict. It comes from the heart. And we still find it hard to make a decision that brings forth our own happiness without being responsible for someone else's.

It got me thinking about the universe we live in. It seems that we are like a micro manifestation of the way the universe works. I believe that the mind and the heart can only achieve an optimal balance with the inner workings of cells at the molecular level. Each has a separate role to play. The two can never meld into one. Just like the forces of the universe. They can exist side by side but cannot be explained within a single theory.

Bottom line is , people should use the heart to make emotional judgments and the mind to make logical ones. Not that easy huh? As we approach the fine line between an emotional and a logical call, the laws of biology seem to break down. And why should we open our hearts and be vulnerable? And I ask 'why not?' In the meantime, we can be happy about being in less than perfect relationships as long as they do not tug at the heart strings of those we care about.. Back to square one...

Here we go again

It's been a hectic 2 months and then some
More of that will continue to come
I'm sitting here typing furiously
My bedtime past, and getting sleepy

Days at work left my body weary
Nights at work rendered my mind mushy
Sometimes I wondered if all this is gonna end
Even though I already knew the answer at hand

Having said that, I don't want to stop working
Because the joys of life keep happening
And our work brings forth that life and its perks
When we work to live and not live to work

From Mondays to Saturdays
Sometimes all through Sundays
We eat, work, sleep, eat , work, sleep
To make money so we can save and keep

From Mondays to Saturdays
Sometimes all through Sundays
We eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep
Ay, here we go all over again.

Frisco slut

hey my friend from the north
what's up , what's hot, what's wild
the thought of you brought forth
these words from across the miles

I was glad you called that day
How can I miss the call when

I know you think of me in ways
No normal people can comprehend

We remembered the good ole times
When you and all the MDC pondans
Joined the only SBC Ms Fine ( that would be moi )
For hilarious episodes that would have been banned
from Mediacorp while putting them to shame

Then you had to leave us
For some far away shore
To study journalism just for lust
I think you mentioned before

Once a slut always a slut
Whether in Frisco or in Singapore
When you leave your mark
It'll be ingrained to the core

You think you very pretty?
You think you very gorgeous?
Mud thinks you pretty ugly
I think you are contagious

Other people reading this would rather
That I mind my own language
But this joke we know better
Than to keep it hush hush

Your picture very nice, your 'wife' you cut
You looked like you just got off
In the escort parlor next to cafe Mozart

Although you feeling feeling getting married
Ha you don't fool me, with laughter I almost cried
When I saw the platforms you had on, I queried
Were you the groom or the bride
Very minus ten thousand points

That's it Ah Kua
I'm having a brain drain
Now I wanna eat my bak kwa
Adios, till we meet again

Hasta luego mi amigo. Quizas podemos conversar mas largo la proxima vez. Tengo que ir para cenar en la casa de un amigo. El vive cerca de Spanish Village, Farrer road.

A Glimpse of Chennai

The 2nd part of our show with Jet airways brought us to Chennai ( Madras ). This time the flight was direct and took us three and a half hours. But alas, we only stayed there for a night. Jet airways were quite good actually. The flight attendants were pleasant and friendly. The hotel we stayed in was beautiful. Not quite completed but the rooms faced the Indian Ocean.

Our show was at the Taj's fisherman cove and the stage was facing the Indian Ocean as well. Although it was outdoors, the breeze from the ocean made the night cool and windy. The show was a success and the Indians were really enjoying themselves. The night sky over Chennai was clear and I was able to do a little star gazing.

After show, we drank, ate and danced with the guests till late. By the time we got back to the hotel it was past midnight. Slept for about 5 hours before I had to drag myself out of bed at 6am. The trip to the airport was about 90 minutes. It was one of the few overseas shows that I didn't have to spend much money. No time for sight seeing and shopping.. :)

I managed to take some shots of the city and I think Chennai, like Kolkata was underdeveloped. The streets were dusty and stone walls surrounding buildings were poorly taken care of. I noticed businesses were conducted alongside cows roaming free in the city. I also saw two men conducting a different kind of business. They were taking a leak by the roadside amidst the hustle and bustle of the smog filled city. Such bliss ... :) . Once the bus passed the city the roads were less dusty, noisy and polluted. And then I saw a pond filled with murky water and rotting leaves. Children were playing in the water and some women were washing their clothes there too. Holy...

The people in India were very nice and friendly. There was no rush to go anywhere fast and I got the feeling that they take each day as it comes without expecting too much in return.

On the way north to the airport as we were leaving Chennai, around 7am I saw a spectacular sight- the moon on my left about to dip behind the land and the rising sun on my right above the horizon. ( I haven't been up so early in a long while .. hahahah ) If only I had a camera equipped to take such a panoramic view !

100 rupees was about SGD$3.80

kolkata in 24 hours

I was in Kolkata to launch Jet Airways' new flight from Bangkok to Kolkata. It was quite a journey. We left Singapore on the 18th January 2007, flew to Kolkata via Delhi. Arrived in the morning of the 19th, checked in, had lunch and went to the Hyatt Hotel for a stage run. That same evening we had a good show, had dinner after about 11pm, went back to our hotel to sleep. The next day, we checked out after lunch , went to the airport, boarded the flight to Mumbai, waited for 4 hours in the airport before taking another flight back to Singapore. Wow, we had a four day trip but only spent one night in a hotel. Talk about a jet setting lifestyle !

Kolkata is a honking city. It is just what the locals do. They drive like mad, swerving in and out on roads without lane markings. One hand on the steering wheel and another on the honk. Every 10 seconds or so, we could hear the drivers trying to out-honk each other. It was extremely noisy, deafening. After about 10 hours or so , I was beginning to get used to the incessant din when I realized something was wrong. There was silence in my head, peace at last and then it hit me. Kolkata had gone to sleep!

The Indians didn't consider that rude but just a way of life for them. Each honk seemed to send out a message like 'watch out here I come, I won't hit you cos I am a good driver but let us not tempt fate.' And they all seemed to be in a hurry to go somewhere. Even with that in mind, the driver still managed to arrive 2 hours late in picking us up. When we enquired about the transport, the hotel concierge just said "let it come" with the famous Indian nod. hahahha that was so funny.

Nice, friendly people, the Indians. But most of them just like to look and stare- at foreign girls especially. We were in the same hotel as some cricket players. We chatted with some and found out that they were in the city and just finished a cricket game. They invited us to watch the next day but we had to fly back. That was too bad. They were cute too...

2007

Year end came and went. The new year 2007 started for me at St.James powerstation in the Boiler room. It didn't feel very much different from any other countdown venues. Whether in singapore or overseas, people took time out to herald in the new year with much gusto. Every Dec since 2002 I have been away and now I finally had the chance to celebrate the beginning of the year in Singapore. Everytime the first thing that came to mind was how wonderful it was to be alive and well.

I am not in a habit of making new year's resolutions so this year wouldn't be any different. What I do wish for is many happy returns of good health, good memories, good times and good wealth ! :)

Christmas

It's Christmas today and another year coming to an end. Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. However, these days I noticed that the season has become secular. While I am sure that there are still people that stick to the traditional way of how Christmas should be celebrated, the festivities and merry making have meandered into different societies.

In a multi racial country like Singapore, eating places operated by the Chinese, Muslims or Indians have joined in the spirit of the times and decorated their shops with Christmas trees and ornaments. This leads to a racially integrated society in Singapore. Surely that is a good thing, no?

On the other hand, this could also be a cause for waning traditions. As we become more progressive, it is difficult to honor religious rules without putting others in an uncomfortable dilemma. So, the joys of Christmas mean we exchange presents with friends from different races while our parents go to church.

At the rate things are unfolding, I am not sure how important religion will be in years to come; at least in this part of the world. Other countries elsewhere are fighting like mad because of religious disharmony, holding on tightly to perceived and unyielding laws. I digress... back to Christmas...
I love Christmas because somehow it brings out the mood, colors, spirit and nostalgia of how it all started.

nothing

wow it's been a while since I wrote anything. I can always use the good old acceptable excuse of being too busy to write. Well, I am here now and I have nothing to write about. hmmmm...... a ver....

I can hear the grey matter in my mind churning
Preparing the synapses for the neurons they are firing
I can feel the thoughts I am thinking
Slowly emerging, emerging, emerging, then , nothing

Nothing.... can it be an adjective?
Is it a word that means something ?
How to describe it if it isn't there for seeing?
Has anyone experienced its being ?

Nothing.... can it be a verb?
Is it a thought that could not be visualized?
The result of which no words could materialize
Or actions that could not be dramatized

Nothingness as a noun has a meaning;
the complete absence of everything
I believe it has neither a beginning
Nor an ending

When we sit around doing nothing
Are we really undoing something?
How about unhearing or
unthinking anything?

Whatever part of speech it is located
Its usage is rather convoluted
Women use it when a disagreement has started
Men use it to claim the same has ended

We shouldn't deploy all our five or six senses
To the understanding of absolute nothingness
Just embrace the word as its meaning dictates
Before this becomes a point for debates

I am not an English guru but there, I have filled this previously empty space with nothing.. What color is nothing? I guess it's purple.. hee hee hee

Ode to W

When we first met online I wasn’t sure you were my kind You looked kinda cute in cyberspace Those eyes looking straight at my face You came to visit me two months later We hit it off instantly through conversation and laughter Online, there was so much to talk about In the flesh, it felt better, no doubt Soon you wanted to make me your girl Before you left for the far side of our world You begged me to follow you home To get a glimpse of your personal dome The days went by ever more slowly Without you by my side daily Mails from you, I awaited eagerly On New Year’s eve, we’ll meet readily Then the expected happened unexpectedly After a few visits to your world, you said quietly “I couldn’t handle the distance Whenever I needed you in an instance” The relationship we had across the miles Was made more difficult because we’re so far apart But I know this will all be worthwhile If only you would take away the impossible part I know you feel for me in your own way While you strive to make sense of your own life It’s easier for you to keep feelings at bay Cos your heart and mind have different things to say You wanted to filter feelings through your head And leave emotions behind instead How can I do that when I perceived love through the heart It shattered the moment I felt that dart Loving you took all I had I hope you’d remember everything we’ve shared I looked forward to the day I hope, I pray, one day together we’ll stay This New Year would be the third year And still you’re not here But you know what I’m grateful for? The chance to give and receive love and more Now I am over you and all the fun Regrets I have none There’s a rainbow in my heart Of which I am certain a future love will be a part

Asean Tourism Fair

It was my 5th time to Japan as an ambassador
The Asean Tourism Fair in Sapporo, Hokkaido
This event was as good as the rest, if not the best
Both in body and mind it was truly a cultural fest

Asean admitted a new member this year
Now Myanmar celebrates the friendship far and near
In the cultural bridge that has many detours
Starting from Brunei, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia.
The Philippines, Singapore, Thailand to Vietnam.

At the fair, every country showcased their specialty
Arts and crafts that were founded on anonymity
Preserved through and for generations to come
So that today, we too, can appreciate their beauty and charm

Japan was most gracious to host the affair
The people's commitment to attention and care
Was exemplary right to the very end
All of two weeks we had fun working, playing hand in hand.


The picture above was taken on the streets of Sapporo in costume. We were performing in a local shopping centre nearby.
Sapporo looked very similar to Tokyo . The japanese are such civic minded people. The streets were clean and almost all sidewalks had special walkways built for the handicapped. The public toilets were also clean- sign of a gracious society in my opinion. Hotel toilets even have heated seats in the winter. Hmmmmm... great for my butt .. hahaha. But I hope they would do something about the toilet paper though. hee hee. they are thin and rough. Not quite kleenex material... :)



Once I was in a cafe and the girl sitting a few tables away left her cell phone and shopping bags behind. While she was gone many people walked in and out of the cafe and never minded the phone at all. Fifteen minutes later the girl came back and quietly took her belongings. If it had been anywhere else, the phone would be gone quite quickly.
I can hardly find trash receptacles anywhere . That's because hardly anyone ever ate on the streets. I noticed they have meals at restaurants and eateries. Japan is very conscious about recycling. If there is a dustbin somewhere it will be side by side with 2 others. One for paper, another for plastic and so on.

I find it very peculiar that the japanese are quite influenced by western culture and yet retained their values and able to integrate them effortlessly. In the fortnight I was there, I only had time to visit the Hokkaido Museum of Modern Art. Shopping was expensive but digital cameras were cheaper than Singapore.
The flag down rate for taxis was 600 yen. 1000 yen was equivalent to S$14. Muy caro. . Cheap food starting from 500 yen can be had if one knew where to go.
Hokkaido crabs were huge. The spiny body itself was bigger than a man's face and the claws were at least 16 inches long. The famous local rock melons cost anywhere from $27 to $150 each !! Unbelievable!!!
Now I miss the weather. It was about 18 degrees... I had a great time.

yellow ribbon musical

The Yellow Ribbon Project together with CARE is dedicated to helping and the organizing of activities for ex offenders and their families.
When asked to choreograph for the musical, I was apprehensive at first but accepted the job for the anticipation of a new kind of challenge. This year the musical was performed by the inmates who wrote their own songs and directed by a dear friend, Peggy.

The rehearsals were conducted inside the huge, big and grey building. The girls were all a little shy at first and kept looking at the floor but slowly their enthusiasm and a chance to perform for their loved ones and friends motivated them to be brave and just go for it.. The men were also very talented. They sang so much better than the Singapore Idols ( oops am I allowed to say that?)

Prior to the commencement of rehearsals, there was a song writing competition and the winning songs were chosen to tie in with the theme of the musical which was "angel from within."

In the few months leading to performance day which was yesterday, I was made more aware of the power of forgiveness. The life stories we heard while talking to the inmates were mostly reflected in their songs. But keeping their spirits high whenever we saw them for rehearsals made our jobs so much easier. They were so willing to learn, so willing to laugh and cry. I was able to see, hear and feel forgiveness and that word truly lifts the spirit and helps someone to move on and brings hope to live another day.

One thing I was glad of - this musical brought together inmates who didn't know each other and now have become friends inside.

The earnest desire to change was projected on stage and moved the audience to tears. They sang and danced with so much gusto that it was so heart- rending. After show I went back to the holding area to offer my heartiest congratulations.
Needless to say, security was very tight but I couldn't respect the protocol anymore at that point and went straight to hug all of them. There were so many words just waiting to roll off my tongue but had to keep my mouth shut from literally crying out loud.

All those weeks of training had paid off and I am glad to be part of the Yellow Ribbon Musical 2006... and I can't post pictures for obvious reasons...